The last time my husband and I prepared our will, we didn’t even have children. He was getting ready to go overseas with the military, and getting a will made was one of the many pre-deployment requirements. We sat for a matter of minutes with a military lawyer who processed our information, and we checked that box. The problem is, our life today barely resembles our life then, but we’ve still been carrying around the same outdated will. Ever since our first child was born, I’ve been thinking “we should really get our will updated!” but it has just always been one of those things that kept getting pushed to the back burner.
There are several reasons why it took me so long to follow through on getting a will, and I predict they’ll sound familiar to any busy, young family.
· I don’t want to think about dying – it’s too hard
· I can’t/don’t want to pay a lawyer
· Can’t I print a will off the Internet anyway?
· I can’t find the time to have the conversation with my husband
· I don’t know who I’d pick to be my children’s guardian
· Doesn’t everybody already know that I’d want all my assets to go to my kids anyway?
· I’m young and healthy, so there’s no rush - I’ll get around to it someday
Well, it took the deaths of a few young and healthy people I knew to finally motivate me to take this errand off the back burner. I did a little research and called on Tim Barkley, a Mt. Airy attorney whose emphasis is wills and trusts. You’ve probably seen his advertisements and heard his motto, “It’s time to talk to Tim!”
My first impression of Tim was that he was a gentleman – he displayed such courtesy and manners, beyond your garden-variety professionalism, but at the same time he was approachable and easy to talk to. I learned that Tim is a father of five, who respects and admires his wife’s decision to stay at home and homeschool, that he is active in the community, and devoted to his faith. It was also clear that Tim is highly-educated and intellectual, but he never used his intellect to either belittle or impress me; he is just a really smart guy, who can talk with you like anybody else.
During our initial conversation, Tim guided me through a series of questions about my family and what I’d want a will to provide for them. He brought up some “tax exposure” considerations that I would never have thought of, and coached me on what was best for my family based on our estate. We talked about what assets we have, how I’d want them divided, who would make medical decisions for us if we were unable to make them ourselves, and of course, who would care for our children if my husband and I both die while they’re still young. My husband wasn’t there for this conversation, but I had talked with him about it ahead of time and felt comfortable speaking for him. And while I expected it to be a complicated conversation, it really wasn’t. Tim believes that less is more, simpler is better, and while he made sure that we covered all the bases, we weren’t over our heads in legal jargon or financial what-ifs.
As it turned out, some of the things I’d thought my husband wanted weren’t actually what he wanted. But Tim was happy to adjust, and very responsive to my emails and changes. He got all of our corrected information into a draft will, for my husband and me to review to our satisfaction. All that’s left is for us to go into Tim’s office together and sign the final copy of the will. Then we’ll enjoy the peace of mind that comes with knowing that our will is filed and our children will be provided for in the event of the unthinkable.
Every parent already knows the importance of having a will. Making sure your children are cared for in your absence just comes with the territory of parenthood. Unfortunately, most of the parents I know are also carrying around the familiar list of reasons why they haven’t gotten around to making a will yet.
If that’s you, I urge you to take a step and call or email Tim. His first priority is taking care of people, and you will feel cared for. What’s more, I think you’ll find yourself feeling immediately relieved to know that you’re taking care of something so important!
Tim has also written an article for Macaroni Kid about DIY Wills, which you can find here. And you can find Tim’s business directory listing here.
